i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
