plz talk dirty to me
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
