VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
