no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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