Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
