I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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