We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize