My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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