Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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