Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
