So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
