Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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