I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
