I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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