The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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