O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
