I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
