OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
