we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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