Sry I called you an 8
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
