sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
