For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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