thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
