using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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