And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
