My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
