i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
