Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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