I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
