don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
