They should really pass out barf bags in church
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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