so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
