i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
