Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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