We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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