I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
