Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
