I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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