if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize
