Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
