They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
