Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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