Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
