I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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