she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
