Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
