i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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