we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
There r osticjed everywhere
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
