Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize