Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
