Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
