if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
