I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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