mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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