so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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