I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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