hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
