i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
