But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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