need another drink. this is the easiest way
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
